'Something nasty in the woodshed'

‘Private Eye’ has the same take as me about the Blair Tome. ‘Eye’ did a parody of it, but I have read a compilation of critiques of the book and it is beyond parody. Much of the demotic language Blair uses is of the ‘I’m a regular kind of guy’ calibre, and one half expects him to describe himself as a ‘diamond geezer’.

What does Grub Street tell us about the Strange Death of the Welshman from MI6, Dai the Spy?

He was both 30 and 31 years old. There’s clever, look you.

He was found in a large sports bag and a suitcase.

He was stabbed several times or even dismembered.

He was poisoned, strangled, asphyxiated, and drugged.

He was assassinated by Al Qaeda.

He was attacked by a friend or casual acquaintance.

He was murdered by a ‘Mata Hari’ honey-trap assassin.

He was killed by a gay lover.

He was the victim of sex game that went wrong.

He died innocently.

He suffocated after locking himself inside a sports bag in some autoerotic session. The key was found outside the bag!

None/all of the above.

Next we will be told that his nickname was ‘Lucky’. Whatever, there is definitely something nasty in the woodshed.

And the Potty Pastor has been landed with a bill of $180,000 for police coverage during his ‘Burn the Koran’ campaign. Ah, the law of unintended consequences; where would we be without it?

So farewell Pope Benedict. The visit got massive coverage in the meeja, with TV news broadcasting every moment of the grand tour to the exclusion of all else. Needless to say, the occasion brought the worms out of the woodwork, with protest marches and celebs mouthing off their vapid opinions. The UK doesn’t need a bout of Catholic-bashing, but I blame the equal opportunities/anti-discrimination wowsers for making constant mischief. For example, a small town in England has traditionally made a big thing of Bonfire Night. Now the wowsers are saying that it is a hate crime against Catholics. I doubt whether there is more than a microscopic minority that know that the Gunpowder Plot was designed to overthrow the state and restore Catholicism. Drawing attention to it only causes bad feeling for spoiling a harmless bit of fun. Both Rome and the Anglican Church come across as obsessed with sex – gay bishops, women priests, kiddie-fiddling. Not much about morality, Christian values, etc. According to the suppressed Gospel of St Peter, Mary Magdalene was not a ‘fallen woman’, but a leader of the early Church and possibly the first Pope, so what’s the argument?

The US economy and O’s ratings seem to be accompanying each other on a flight south. The Economist reckons recovery will take 7 years provided the right decisions are made. So far all measures seem to have failed. The housing market is down the tubes, consumer confidence appears to be at a very low level, the stimulus package has failed and the deficit is terrifying. It seems to me that O’s approach is inflate away debt. I have news for him. Nobody will lend you money if they think that it will be only worth half on maturity. POTUS seems bent on a Broonite ‘tax and spend’ regime; it will all end in tears.

It is ironic that Cleggikin’s absurd diatribe about it being ‘immoral’ to avoid paying tax that the taxman is not entitled to in the same week that it is revealed that the Revenue has made a cock-up of humungous proportions in overcharging or undercharging millions (and has decided not to pursue the undercharging claims). All this from a man who in his entire life has never earned a penny that was not contributed by the tax-payer, as a civil servant, an MEP, an MP, and now as Deputy PM. And we require no sermons from a member of a profession that as a consequence of the MPs’ expenses scandal, has become a byword for venality, dishonesty and deviance. His pompous lefty colleague, the Business Secretary, has appointed as a top advisor a billionaire businessman who has ‘everything in the wife’s name’ in a tax haven.

It must be true; I read it in the papers............

‘Hundreds of competitors flocked to Ramsbottom for the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships. Vying for a £100 top prize, contestants were given three black puddings with which to dislodge as many Yorkshire puddings as they could from a 20ft ledge. ‘Some people say it’s a strange world championship, but it depends where you come from. We’re from Lancashire,’ said the organiser’.

And finally.........

An ode to Hillary Clinton, courtesy of Ogden Nash and Andrew Mason:

Sure, deck your lower limbs in pants,

The choice is yours, my sweeting.

You look divine as you advance,

But have you seen yourself retreating?