Getting stoned....

There was a much –publicised scandal recently following a piece by the egregious Ms Alibhai-Brown (described by the DT as ‘the stupidest womanin Britain)  in The  Independent, in which she sought to justify stoning women for adultery. A joking twitter message that Mrs A-B herself should be stoned brought about the arrest of the tweeter on a complaint of Mrs A-B who plainly believed that freedom of speech was her sole prerogative. After the Woodentops had held the guy for some time it was eventually (very eventually) decided not to proceed against him.

(I believe that stoning as a punishment still exists in the Torah, although it is believed that the Jews have not done any since the Pythons made ‘Life of Brian’).

I now have evidence that this whole issue of stoning is based on mistranslations of the various ancient documents that advocate it. My reasoning is thuswise.

Some while back there was archaeological study of ancient pottery fragments found in Israel. They put a whole new slant on the anointing ceremony (he anointeth thy head with oil etc). It was discovered on chemical analysis that the oil was actually cannabis oil. Whoever had this stuff rubbed into his cranium must have been away with the fairies in no time.

We must also remember that ‘magic mushrooms’ have been known since antiquity for their hallucinogenic effects. The ancients were clearly hop-heads of the first water.

It is obvious therefore was that the religious injunction was not that the offenders should be stoned, but that they should GET stoned.

So that clears that up.