Mixed marriage has become
something of a hot topic, possibly because latest surveys show that they are on
the increase and that mixed-race births are on the increase (well they would
be, wouldn’t they) and partly because of a TV series headed up by George
Alagaiah.
George is the ideal person
for the programme. He is an enormously experienced foreign correspondent, now a
BBC anchor, speaks Received English, is extremely good-looking, and he is a Sri
Lankan married to an English woman.
I am not entirely
unacquainted with the subject. A close relative successively married an English
woman, a Malaysian, and a Chinese. Thirty-odd years ago, an Irish friend who
was a judge in Botswana married the Indian headmistress of the local girls
school, and used restaurants and hotels in neighbouring South Africa at the
height of apartheid without ever being challenged. I have another chum who is
built like an anorexic jockey married to a statuesque Jamaican with a brilliant
daughter at University. There is a local guy married to a Vietnamese who has
really got his life sorted. She is Executive Vice President of an international
company and he fishes all day in the Mekong River. I worked with a Jamaican Rhodes
Scholar married to an English artist; unsurprisingly the kids are very bright
indeed.
And why not?
The simple truth is that we
English are the product of ethnic mixing since time began; Picts, Scots,
Iceni, Romans, Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Frieslanders, Scandinavians,
Normans, Jews, Huguenots, Italians, West Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis,
Indians, Chinese and all the rest of the great melting pot that makes us
what we are.
And there is a great deal of
truth in the old saw that it’s a wise child that knows its own father.
Some years ago, the Sunday Times did a DNA study of a select group from various
ethnic backgrounds. The West Indian who guessed his paternal ancestor might
have been a slave from Sierra Leone, as in ‘Roots’, discovered that
he was German down the paternal line. There was a German influx to Jamaica in
the early 19th century (hence Germanstown) which interbred and has
now vanished, except in one remote village where they have clung to both their
racial identity and their language).
The great irony is that we
now know that Alex Haley himself was actually Welsh in the paternal line!
There are some sound
biological reasons for mixing the breed. Exclusiveness tends to make the stock
deteriorate with humans as with animals. That is why so many of the aristocracy
seem to come from the shallow end of the gene pool. And maybe why the mongrel
English have such a propensity for strong drink, lechery, riotous assembly,
fighting, exploration, Empire-building, and survival.
From observation, mixed
marriages are as successful as others, perhaps more so because it takes
particular binding to succeed against the prejudice of others. Where they fail
seems to be mostly due to irreconcilable cultural differences. A Muslim man marrying
an American woman would soon be in trouble if he tried to treat her as if they
were in Islamabad not New York. Similarly an English woman who married her
Renta Rasta would rapidly find that marital fidelity was not on his agenda.
But there is one aspect that
Dave has promised to deal with (and he always keeps his promises, don’t he) and
that is discrimination in adoption. Homosexual men can adopt boys with all the
attendant dangers but woe betide a mixed-race couple who try to adopt a child.
The race relations industry, being by definition racist, has a policy on this.
Remember the white husband and Asian wife? They couldn’t adopt a white child
because she was too dark, and they couldn’t adopt a coloured child because he
was too light. Truly, it’s a mad, mad world, my masters!
Years ago there was little
race consciousness in the UK, probably because most people had never seen a
person of colour. In 1955, the non-white population was only 125,000. That was
the year I entered the army, and in all my service when I must have seen
literally thousands of soldiers nary a one was black. The pendulum now seems to
be swinging back. To the younger generation, pigment is an irrelevance; in
fact, it is becoming distinctly cool to be of mixed race, with so many role-models
around, like Lewis Hamilton. Open the pages of the Sunday Times ‘Style’
magazine and many or most of the models have honey-coloured skin.
One of the most extraordinary
products of a mixed race marriage is Mechai Vivavaidya.
Mechai’s father was one of
the Thai elite. In the 1930’s he was selected for medical training in Scotland.
There he met a Scots student whom he married after they both qualified as
doctors. The circumstances of their marriage were a reflection of the times and
the attitude towards miscegenation. To her family, marriage across a colour
line was to be deplored; to his he was seen to be marrying beneath himself.
But it was a great success
and they practiced medicine together in Bangkok.
Mechai went to school and
university in Australia. Some years after his return to Thailand he founded the
Population and Community Development Association which promoted birth control
and in particular the use of condoms partly to counter the growing AIDS problem
and partly to arrest the alarming population growth rate. When he began his
campaign the average family was 7 children. Today it is 1.5.
People who have met him say
his personality is such that you can feel him enter a room; truly magnetic. He
clearly has the charm and intelligence of his Thai family background and the
sheer grit of his Scottish mother.
His biography is ‘From
Cabbages to Condoms’; it is riveting.
Of course, you will always
get the ‘sucker’ question ‘Would you like your daughter to marry a coloured
man?’ That one telegraphs its arrival about three days in advance. The answer
is ‘It’s not the colour, stoopid, it’s the culture!’ If my daughter wanted to
marry a Jamaican, I would look at him carefully because some Jamaicans make
notoriously bad husbands. If she wanted to marry Lewis Hamilton, I would do
handstands! She’s old enough to be his granny.