'I see no ships......'

One Jubilee tradition going back to Henry VIII Is the Review of the Fleet.

At the Coronation Review 300 ships took part in the Spithead Review. It took several hours to pass.

And this time? Nothing. Zilch. Bugger-all.

Why not?

Because we no longer have any ships to form a Review. Plenty of Admirals, mind you – one per ship. We have 32 men-o’-war. The RN is no longer able to defend itself because it has no air-cover and no advanced warning radar aircraft.

For the first time ever we have no active warship in British waters. So, Al Qaeda, bring it on. With a rubber duck and a few RPMs, you could take out all our oil refineries in days.

Or perhaps we could hire HMS Hermes and its Sea Harriers from the Indian Navy.

You’re doing a great job there, Dave. We’ll see you’re kept on.