A kicking for Mitt and a gold for Hague

"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half." Gore Vidal.

Well, Mitt Zombie has had his first lesson in Foreign Affairs; he has just discovered that unlike the deferential pussy cats of the US press, the British media is a pack of snarling rottweilers, renowned for their total disrespect for anyone and anything. Which, of course, is as it should be.

He got off to a bad start by publicly expressing his doubts about the ability of London to manage successful Olympics. The press immediately jumped on this juicy bone, and chewed it up. Then Dave gave him a very public kick in the groin with his comment that organising the London Olympics was a rather different matter than winter Olympics in the back of beyond.

When he met Ed Miliband, he had obviously forgotten his name and constantly referred to him as ‘Mr Leader’. Pity he didn’t say ‘Dear Leader’; it would have got an even bigger laugh. And now we know that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, because he told us so!

There is no record of his having met our Foreign Secretary.

Pity. I believe that Willie Hague will prove to be one of the greatest Foreign Secretaries in history.

He has secured his place in history. How so? you might ask.

Well, under the Blair reign of terror, Straw and Miliband just about destroyed the F&CO.

In an act of unparalleled cultural vandalism, the library was chucked out of Charles Street, and rehoused in a squalid basement in a satellite office. Just imagine. This must be just about the most valuable archive anywhere. It contains all the memoranda and state papers going back hundreds of years. It is a matchless record of British history. Want to know what went on at Yalta? Or at the Congress of Vienna in 1814? Or Afghanistan in the19th Century? How would Gladstone have handled this problem? Or Anthony Eden?

It’s all there.

At least Miliband, described as the worst Foreign Secretary since Lord North, who lost the American colonies, didn’t break up the collection, maybe selling it on e-bay.

Now William has restored it to its proper place and former glory.

Another piece of lunacy was to abolish the in-house languages school.

When I was working in Pakistan, I was mightily impressed by the language skills of the senior diplomats at the British High Commission. Indeed, my counterpart, who dressed in the shalwar kameez when out in the rural areas, spoke such fluent street-Urdu that he was often taken to be a Pakistani, and the High Commissioner himself had been in post for 6 years instead of the usual 3 because he was also Professor of Persian Poetry at the University and they wouldn’t let him go!

William has brought it back.

In days before it was debauched along with everything else that Blair touched, the F&CO was the crème de la crème. Its entry requirements were daunting.

It is now being restored to the status quo ante.

Things can only get better.