Scots wha hae wi Salmond fled............

Nae doot aboot it. This was a case of indecent exposure. If media reports are at all accurate on the referendum debate, Wee Eck came across as an effective demagogue, a master of rant whose approach to Darling was a mixture of jibes and wise-cracks, and used valuable time in petty complaints about the conduct of the ‘no’ campaign. His case for independence was tissue-paper thin. If he imagined that he was going to ruffle the imperturbable Darling, Mr Driasdust who learnt his politics in the ball-crushing arena of the House of Commons, he made a serious tactical mistake.

 

He decided to debate (if that’s not an overuse of the word) the financial and economic issues when he should really have been focussing on Scottish pride, its great heritage, its stupendous achievements in science, technology, its literature and poetry (Burns and not forgetting the great William Topaz McGonagall), medicine, empire-building.

 

The financial and economic case for independence scarcely exists. ‘ It’s our pound and we are going to keep it’ he repeatedly declared. No, it’s not. And no, you’re not. It’s the United Kingdom pound. If you are not in the club you can’t use the facilities. If you want to keep the pound you have to keep the Bank of England, and if you do that you don’t have independence; your monetary policy will be dictated and decided by England.

 

‘Your’ oil (and Orkney and Shetland might have a view on that; they already have their own sovereign wealth fund) is a rapidly diminishing resource and tax cash-cow. A long way second comes whisky, followed by low-productivity manufacturing. Your biggest export may turn out to be people. Being outside the EU, as is inevitable unless Brussels fiddles the rules (as they frequently do in other circumstances) they will need work-permits to get a job in the UK.

 

Given independence, Scotland will be able to devote itself to solely Scottish matters. The benefit to the English is that it will no longer be able to call the shots in English  politics (9 PMs of Scottish origin in modern times, including the last three), and Labour will no longer be able to depend on its Scottish MPs to give it a Commons majority. It’s a wonder that the Labour Party is not out there fighting tooth and nail for the ‘no’ tendency.

 

But a ‘no’ vote by itself is not enough. 51 to 49 will merely keep the nationalist flame burning. Fortunately, it is becoming  clear that the SNP will get well-and-truly shafted. Afterwards we may say

 

‘And what became of it at last?’ quoth Little Peterkin.

‘Why, that I cannot tell; said he,

‘But ‘twas a famous victory!’.

 

What becomes of it may well be ‘devomax’ with Scotland getting most powers except foreign policy, defence, immigration and passports, and a few others. Scotland could have its own pound – as now – for internal transactions only.

 

Of course, its Commons MP’s would only be allowed to vote on these issues, answering the West Lothian question at last.

 

So here’s a message to the Scots.

 

With independence you will be sailing in a stormy sea to an unknown destination. You should stay with the old spouse Britannia. As the song says,

 

‘You’d better keep her,

You’ll find it cheaper

Than making whoopee!’