Mending the roof.........

‘I was sitting out there the other night looking at the stars. It was cloudless and clear as crystal with the stars and planets filling the sky, and a full moon casting its ethereal light over the world. And as I looked out at the wonders of the universe and the beauty of the night sky, I thought to myself ‘It really is time that I fixed the roof on this lavatory’.

And so, Dave, it’s time you fixed the roof.

The ‘troubles’ must have gladdened the hearts of the media in what is usually a slow news month. But the quality of reporting was abysmal. The Sunday Times has yet to cover the story at all. The other papers and TV news services were very short on facts and very long on opinion. We were not told who was rioting and looting for days after it all started.

They said it was triggered by the woodentops terminating a Mr Duggan who shot at a cop but didn’t. We are told nothing about him but it is insinuated that he is not the ‘good family man’ claimed by his relatives and by others a gangsta who left Manchester either because it was too hot or because there were richer pickings in the Big Outhouse (he could have been both, of course, and kind to his old mother and stray cats). It was said that he was under surveillance for planning an armed robbery. It is said that his gun was found nearby. It is said that the bullet that supposedly came from his gun (that was never fired) was police issue – lucky old cops, that their ammo is bespoke.

They never said at the outset who was involved in the violence.

In fact, no facts.

Then came the opinions. It was all the actions of alienated black male yoof without jobs or prospects or education. The Dr Heinz Kiosks were out in force. It was a symptom of a vanished community. We were all guilty (well, not me, maties).

So let’s try to make sense of it all.

Here are the stats from the Beeb: 69% aged under 25, 29% between 25 and 35, 7% between 35 and 45 based on the first 59 cases brought to court. We may expect those proportions to change when the Bill gets round to charging more of the non-violent offenders.

Despite criticism of policing methods, over 1500 have already been charged with many more to come. The DT reported that the head cop at the Yard had criticised the courts for leniency; he did not. He expressed a wish that the courts would hand down condign sentences. With the sentencing of a student to 6 months for looting a £3.50 case of mineral water it looks as if they need no bidding. It will be interesting to see what happens to the middle-class, wealthy female undergraduate who has been remanded to the Crown Court where the sentencing powers are fairly draconian on 5 charges of burglary.

One of the most newsworthy scenes was covered at length by Sky News. It was the address to the crowd by the father of two of the three young Muslim men murdered when trying to protect the family filling station. No boo-hoos, no begging for sympathy, no emoting. Just a tough, calm, dignified speech telling the angry crowd gathered at the scene –all races, colours, ages, faiths – not to fight, to go home, and to remember that they are a community. Neither the BBC TV News not the DT next day thought this worthy of coverage to any degree.

As for ‘no community’ tell that to the Turks, Kurds, and Sikhs who saw off the mob in short order. But inevitably the statutory moron was trundled out to accuse the police of being ‘too aggressive’!

And since Cameron has had the temerity to criticise the police, perhaps he will now do a u-turn on his police budget cuts.

Now that he has promised to clean up Britain maybe he could start near to home by getting rid of those in his government who were involved in expenses fiddles but not prosecuted (but he was one with his £600 bill for removing a shrub in his garden). He could deal with the bigger looters like Phillip Green who legitimately rob the people through tax dodges. Perhaps he could appoint a Cabinet that had the same characteristic as the England Test cricket team – tough, determined, efficient, professional, ruthless, and all team-players.

He could start by sending Kittenheels May off to be Minister of Meal-on-Wheels and Basket Weaving and appointing David Davies as Home Secretary.