The drinking man's diet......

I continue to ascribe my sylph-like figure to the drinking man’s diet that I designed a year or so back.

A typical day’s consumption would be a kipper for breakfast (must have one oily fish a week, at least), a papaya for lunch, one only pint of beer at The Dog & Pessary at beer o’clock,  red wine at wine o’clock (only one bottle, mind), beef casserole in beer for dinner (and possibly a modest fruit salad marinated in Madeira), ending with a couple of gold watches as a night cap. Another favourite is a pate of chicken liver, olive oil (no butter),garlic, and either a splash of brandy or Appleton’s rum.

Of course, when I get the results of my annual blood-test next week , the Quack will once more tut-tut about my liver function being less than perfect. There’s nothing to be done about it. It is a side effect of my medication for gout.

As a result of this abstemiousness, I have lost 30 lbs. and have maintained  my weight at a lithe 212 lbs. for over a year, so I can now take my weight on my elbows once more.

Should I copyright this and make a fortune like Dr Atkins?

Warning: when using this diet do not drive or operate machinery. May cause drowsiness.