Immigration controls? No problem!

From being a topic that no politician wanted to discuss ever since Enoch’s ‘rivers of blood’ speech (which he never said) immigration is now well up the political agenda, like it or not.

So if I were newly-appointed Commissar of Immigration here are my rules:

·        Illegals to be returned immediately by immigration officials at the port of entry to the country from which they departed for the UK. That will stop the French exporting them to us from Sangatte.

·        No asylum seekers allowed in who have arrived in the UK from a friendly country.

·        Asylum seekers to be electronically tagged.

·        Those with student visas to report to a named police station every week.

·        Those given deportation orders to be made to leave the UK forthwith. Where they go is their business, but not at our expense. That will get round the human rights fiasco.

·        Appeals against immigration decisions only to be made from outside the UK. That will stop them abusing the judicial process.

·        No legal aid to be payable for immigration cases.

·        No state benefit to be paid to immigrants until they have paid 5 years NI contributions.

·        ‘Dependents’ to include only one wife and children of the marriage. That will stop the extended families abusing the privilege.

·        Application for work-permits only to be made from outside the UK. That will stop people with tourist visas from bucking the system.

·        Work permits to be granted on the basis of needed skills, not salary level.

·        Travel to ‘terrorist’ countries to require an exit visa. That will help to identify those who go to Pakistan for a couple of weeks further education in bomb-making. A fresh entry visa would then be needed for non-UK passport holders.

·        Conviction of an imprisonable offence  to lead to automatic deportation on expiry of sentence.

Er………that’s it!

Gissa job, Dave.