A spat between the Ugly American and the Hysterical Indian is certain to add to the gaiety of nations.

 

The three stars in this farce are Ms Khobragade (I  know; I can’t pronounce it either), the Indian Deputy Consul in New York; the lady’s maid with the unlikely name of Richards, and the State Attorney-General, Preet Bharara (an all-Indian caste, no pun intended, but Ms K is an Untouchable. So calm down, dears. After all, she’s only a Dhalit).

 

She was arrested for alleged visa fraud; that she was paying her maid a measly $573 a month plus full board and lodging and air-fares (a pretty good deal by Indian standards) instead of the $4500 she declared to the US authorities in the visa application for the maid.

 

This monumental cock-up has separate strands.

 

It reveals almost unbelievable diplomatic blunder in arresting Ms K in the first place. A quiet word from the State Department would have ensured Ms K’s farewell to the Big Apple with no fuss or awful publicity.

 

It reveals the barbarity of the US law enforcement.

 

She was arrested in the street just after taking her kids to school, and handcuffed. Why? Was she offering violence? Drunk and disorderly? Likely to do a runner?

 

She was strip searched. Again, why? Worst of all, she had vaginal and anal examination (denied by the A-G, who said at the same time that this was ‘routine’). Best not to ask what they got from this indecent assault.

 

The AG fouled the footpath by making totally uncalled-for comments to the media. He particularly remarked that there appeared to be more concern for Ms K than for the maid. Why should there be any concern for the maid? She absconded 6 months ago and is now an illegal in the US minus a passport that was withdrawn by the Indian Government.

 

India retaliated by removing the concession to US diplomats for importing booze duty-free. That should bring Johnny Yank to heel. They also removed the security barriers outside the US Embassy, but so far Al Qaeda has not accepted the invitation.

 

Now she has been transferred to the UN where she has solid diplomatic immunity, so that looks like game, set and match to the wily Indians.

 

It would seem that US diplomacy is as useless as its national security. And India has needlessly damaged its relationship with the US.

 

And here’s the real kicker.

 

The A-G completely misread the visa application.

 

The salary of $4500 a month was not the maid’s.

 

It was the Deputy Consul’s own stipend.

 

Oh dear!