Falklands: action replay, anyone?

Coming up is the 30^th anniversary of the Falklands campaign. The Argy Presidente is obviously in trouble at home which is why she is doing a bit of sabre rattling. It will come to nothing. Instead of a company of Royal Marines as garrison there are now 2 battalions plus fighter aircraft, a nuclear-powered sub and the very latest frigate – enough to see off anything that the Argies could field. And Wills, of course!

The fact that commercial oil deposits have now been confirmed makes it pretty certain that the whole question of sovereignty is off the table for all time.

Maggie’s gift was not the freeing of the Falklanders. It was the freeing of the Argentineans from a vile and murderous junta. They should be thanking us, not shouting the odds all over South America. Let’s hope that O does not show the same ambivalence as did the US at the time of the campaign. The ghastly Kirkpatrick woman was all for supporting the other side.

It’s a funny old world. Some years ago, I was flying some calibration exercises for new secondary surveillance radar being developed by Marconi. At their base I spotted a curiously shaped aerial. I was told that it was a radar-guided missile system for the specific task of knocking down exocets. The MOD wouldn’t buy it because exocets were French and the French were our allies!

One hero of the campaign was Commander Rick Jolly, the surgeon in charge of the casualty clearing station. Every casualty who came in went out alive. He treated the casualties according to the medical priority, not according to their nationality, so Argentineans were treated simply as wounded, not as enemy. The upshot was that he was decorated by both sides. I wonder if that was unique.

His account of the campaign is not without humour. He tells how the first casualty was a mincing red-top hack who came aboard the Canberra en route to the Falklands. He made a remark of a gay nature about the Paras – something about their ‘pretty pink headgear’ - , so they promptly picked him up and threw him through the lounge door. It was not open at the time and he was taken off the ship with a broken arm.

The Padre was wont to appear in the lounge on a Sunday and say ‘There will be a service of worship in one hour. You area all welcome to attend if you wish. Otherwise, you can f**k off!’

Probably apocryphal is the story of the Marine who thought that half his penis had been shot away in battle.  The Sergeant said ‘Well, sonny, you’ll have to leave the Corps now’. Why?’ said the lad. ‘Because you have to be a complete prick to serve in the Royal Marines!’ came  the reply.