'Old gits....get off the road!'

‘If you have half a mind to go into politics………..that’s all you need!

Our political masters are now chuntering on about whether to allow anyone over 70 to drive, and if so, under what conditions. They refer as evidence of the need for control to one or two well-publicized cases of gaga grandpas driving the wrong way down the motorway, although possibly less frequently than continental truck drivers.

Of course, any proposal to apply the principle to other categories would be met with howls of ‘discrimination’. Where should we start?

Well, anyone convicted of a drugs offence might be tested at frequent intervals before being allowed on the road. Some years ago one police force carried out sample testing of motorists and found that about 6% had drunk alcohol in the previous 24 hours but over 30% had taken drugs.

Then there’s the under-25s. Statistically they cause nearly 4 times as many accidents as experienced drivers. We have a second category after passing the driving test. The rookie has to carry an ‘R’ in place of an ‘L’ for one year. There are specific prohibitions, like not being allowed to use a motorway and being restricted to 50 m.p.h. Having noted the quality of their driving, I must conclude that the ‘R’ stands for ‘reckless’.

Perhaps it is only a matter of time before everyone has to renew the driving license annually at a large fee plus a medical examination at the applicant’s expense.

The late, great Dave Allen had a view. ‘5% of all traffic accidents are caused by drunken drivers’, he said, ‘So 95% are caused by sober drivers. Let’s get the sober drivers off the road and make driving safe for all us drunks!’